The Sandwich War
Today, quite possibly, another of the seven signs of the Apocalypse has been turned loose upon us. No, not plagues of locus or frogs raining down from the sky or anything like that, but Burger King did just launch its new NY Pizza Burger in Times Square.
Why is that so bad? The burger, if it can be called that, comes on a 10-inch bun that contains four quarter-pound burger patties, pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, Tuscan pesto sauce and marinara sauce. The burger is then cut into six slices, like a pizza, and served in a cardboard box not unlike a pizza box. It contains 2,520 calories and costs $12.99 US.
Good lord, that’s more calories than most Africans, will see in an entire week for Pete sakes! You practically have to take out life insurance just to purchase one over the counter. I hope some of the proceeds are going towards Third World Famine, as this is just ridiculous. I wonder what those poor starving children would make of these commercials of entire families sitting down to a single sandwich.
Why would anybody need that much food at one sitting? Sure the intent is for the “burger” to be shared and not tackled alone, but, really? I somehow doubt this is how it will play out.
This is, however, only the newest in a long line of new ultra-fatty fast-food meals. Others include the KFC Double Down — two pieces of deep-fried chicken sandwiching cheese and bacon — and the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger, a bacon cheeseburger that uses Krispy Kreme doughnuts as a bun. Just what the world needs, of course.
How fucking gross is that?
Yes, our precious fast-food joints are literally waging war on each other to create the most least-healthy and lethal sandwiches legally available for sale at any restaurant.
Personally, I blame the Food Network and their recent features about American “Culinary Classics”, like ‘Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” with host Guy Fieri. He’s literally breeding a whole new culture of high-calorie, high-fat, low-nutrition, yet impeccably delicious food. He’s practically taken a spatula and bashed in Jenny Craig’s head with it.
Screw your hoity-toity cerviches, ragout’s, salads and stir-fry’s, its hello sandwiches the size of Rhode Island. Shit, I say throw in an $1.99 for an angioplasty and then supersized for your casket.
Why is that so bad? The burger, if it can be called that, comes on a 10-inch bun that contains four quarter-pound burger patties, pepperoni, mozzarella cheese, Tuscan pesto sauce and marinara sauce. The burger is then cut into six slices, like a pizza, and served in a cardboard box not unlike a pizza box. It contains 2,520 calories and costs $12.99 US.
Good lord, that’s more calories than most Africans, will see in an entire week for Pete sakes! You practically have to take out life insurance just to purchase one over the counter. I hope some of the proceeds are going towards Third World Famine, as this is just ridiculous. I wonder what those poor starving children would make of these commercials of entire families sitting down to a single sandwich.
Why would anybody need that much food at one sitting? Sure the intent is for the “burger” to be shared and not tackled alone, but, really? I somehow doubt this is how it will play out.
This is, however, only the newest in a long line of new ultra-fatty fast-food meals. Others include the KFC Double Down — two pieces of deep-fried chicken sandwiching cheese and bacon — and the Krispy Kreme Cheeseburger, a bacon cheeseburger that uses Krispy Kreme doughnuts as a bun. Just what the world needs, of course.
How fucking gross is that?
Yes, our precious fast-food joints are literally waging war on each other to create the most least-healthy and lethal sandwiches legally available for sale at any restaurant.
Personally, I blame the Food Network and their recent features about American “Culinary Classics”, like ‘Diners, Drive-ins and Dives” with host Guy Fieri. He’s literally breeding a whole new culture of high-calorie, high-fat, low-nutrition, yet impeccably delicious food. He’s practically taken a spatula and bashed in Jenny Craig’s head with it.
Screw your hoity-toity cerviches, ragout’s, salads and stir-fry’s, its hello sandwiches the size of Rhode Island. Shit, I say throw in an $1.99 for an angioplasty and then supersized for your casket.
posted by crazytigerrabbitman at
10:43 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home